Sense and sensorability

Unsuspectingly, got hit by a hurricane. Then, uber-prepared, the hurricane never came — more like impossibly clear skies sprinkled by flash lightning storms.

Welcome to the first day of school. (“It’s not school!” six-year-old Vihan impatiently informed me this morning. “You’re right,” I agreed hastily, worrying that the school moniker would conjure negative predispositions. “What do you think we should call it?” “The Expanding Minds Program,” he replied, straight-faced. That… happens to be the exact name of the program. “All right,” I consented. While it may not be “school,” Vihan just schooled me.)

Today was about students and teachers getting a sense of our space and each other — characteristics, limits, resources, values. It was also chockful of sensory experiences: the chaos of 15 five- to seven-year-olds; the eerie silence of 9 seven- to nine-year-olds; sticky fingers from floam play and glue shmearing; the squishiness of mashing flower petal pulp and sliding barefoot on poster paint; tongue-twisting names (mine for them, Adit and Sidanthika for me); limb-constraining contexts (sitting on the carpet for meeting isn’t easy for anybody); light shifts, from the darkness of our simulated cave to the brightness of our clear-windowed/chandelier-rocking/riotously colorful decor; auditory challenges (can you hear the clap/chimes above the din? can you detect the subtle th embezzled in the t of Adit?); et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…*

When it comes to sense-making, rolling up your sleeves and getting hands-on is arguably the way to go. In terms of my own cultural education, that… happens to be the exact nature of the program. No better way to learn about a people’s particularities and all people’s similarities than being there.

How will our sense of it all shift over time, and what new capacities will we develop by engaging our bodies, ourselves in contexts of novelty and risk?
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Place

Dedicated the day to interrogating place.

How do we make a conference room in the World Trade Center Mumbai into a child-friendly classroom? How do we configure this classroom to express our values, support our process, and facilitate our desired outcomes? How do we understand and negotiate our relationships with one another — in this space, in the social hierarchy? To what extent does acceptance of prevailing notions signify respect or complicity? Who’s the cultural imperialist if our solution is to impose our own perspectives and customs?

Just what is our place? Who decides?

Perspective

Point of view is a powerful thing.

You come to India expecting mobs, reek, cacophony, vibrance, destitution, opulence, lawlessness, bureaucracy… and you might wind up disappointed. Hard to say. Have you gone it alone in Senegal first? Are the servants of Mumbai’s upper class attending to you presently? If so… then yes. You might find yourself remarking, as my roommate/co-teacher Emily and I did, cushioned in the leather-upholstered, air-conditioned private car driven by our employer’s chauffeur, that this is no big deal.

At the same time, it’s an enormous deal. We traveled halfway around the planet!

(And it took less than a day. From LA to Frankfurt, I chatted with an LA-based, ethnically Greek, dyed-in-the-wool New Yorker who’s promised to introduce me to a man whose family owns most of Santa Monica’s streets (?), and a mother and daughter giddily anticipating 15 days in Italy and dreaming of improvements to Toyota’s philanthropy. In Frankfurt, I walked off the turbulence, looked over foreign interpretations of American food, books, and magazines, snoozed for 30 minutes on a thoughtfully placed cot, and skedaddled. From Frankfurt to Mumbai, I was out like a light. Presto. Semi-circumnavigation.)

The time difference between LA and Mumbai? 12.5 hours. Who knew that there were halves? That’s how far away I am – the international dateline is divided up into fractions!

(And yet, you can call me at my regular phone number as if I were in LA/Glenview/Somerville right beside you – no financial difference on your end or mine. Connection’s clear as a bell.)

We spent part of the day with Monali, our boss Vasundhara’s assistant, and the other part with Malika, our Indian-based co-teacher*. We observed their subtly different cultural practices, the nuances in their account-making. We wondered how nationality shaped our views, and how class shaped theirs. We contrasted the stories and experiences of our predecessors to our own observations and activities. “Some things in Mumbai are cheap if you compare them to the States,” Malika explained. “But Mumbai is not cheap…”

The view out our living room window to the right? Luxurious residential highrises. The view out the left? A glimpse of the slum.

As we exited the bustling vegetarian restaurant where we had supped, a popular destination for upper middle-class families, Malika bestowed upon grimy beggar children the leftovers that our round-bellied, pathogen-averse bodies couldn’t handle. She was careful to give the bags to girls and to admonish the boys who sought to tear the foodstuffs from their hands. I watched the second girl, a scrappy fighter who lost the battle for the outer bag but won the war for the inner container. She scowled and held on. What is justice when all are hungry?

The driver pulled up and we slid into the backseat, reuniting with the bags of high-quality, culture- and climate-appropriate tunics we had purchased hours earlier. “No big deal,” we sighed, as Vikram sped towards the Jollymaker III, honking the whole way.

It’s not our fault that our amenities are gilded. But if we fail to challenge this, to complacently ride in our privileged bubble, then we will be at fault. We will have turned this opportunity into a restriction, fashioned a gilded cage that keeps out alternate realities and holds hostage our potential experiences and understandings.

From now on, we vowed: We’re walking.
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Flow-going


I leave for India tomorrow.

I was supposed to leave last Thursday. And then this past Tuesday. And then the day after tomorrow. Now it’s tomorrow. Tomorrow it is.

I was supposed to write and edit a book chapter back in March. Then pushed it to April. May. Late May. Wrote through early June. Will finish it today. Has to be today.

Yet this morning, instead of setting down to edit, I began revamping this website.* Why? Rebelliousness? Lack of discipline? Divine inspiration? Perhaps a bit of all three, plus a dose of pragmatism. If you hadn’t heard, I leave tomorrow (used to be the day after tomorrow, but not anymore. Tomorrow it is). I plan to blog from abroad and will publicize this website’s presence to my network (677 friends on Facebook, 141 connections on LinkedIn, 814 spammers eager to promote chest fat loss and colon cleanses, among other gems).

So sometimes plans change — whether due to whim or necessity, sometimes plans change. And so I must go with the flow. My uptake of flow-going? Slow-going. Yesterday I fumed about my lack of control. Today I despair of this wrench in the work gears that I threw in myself.

Maybe that’s why I study the primary skills, basic competencies that help us remain agile in a digitally integrated, socially connected world of constant change. I may say that it’s for the children, but maybe what I’m really trying to do is save myself. Maybe that’s all that scholarship boils down to, oddballs’ attempts to figure out and fix themselves…

My mission is to internalize the lessons I teach, faithfully practice what I preach. I’d like to transition more gracefully, frame more positively, live more serenely, accepting and celebrating the flow, the now, the unexpected, the uncontrollable, as lately spoken of and consciously practiced by Krissy and Arian, Lindsay, Meg, Geetha, Sarah, Arvind, and my beloved mama.

India is the perfect place to embrace this challenge: birthplace of Buddhism, site of terrific tumult. This, and so many other reasons, make me lucky, so lucky… While I’m boarding a Lufthansa flight tomorrow (used to be Continental, then British Airways, but now it’s Lufthansa), I’m going with the flow today. And hopefully tomorrow… and the day after tomorrow… and the one after that…

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Awakenings

Sleep and time and conversation… Those are my healers, the restorative balms for my battle-weary soul, the shapers of my amorphous muddle. I’m awake again. After an insomniac week, a coupla night–>noon sleep binges, several rich talks with beloved buddies*, I’m awake. I’m awake.

I’ve been staying in my old apartment, in my old room, for the past four days (who says you can’t go home again?) and just realized that the internet network password, which I had staunchly insisted was invalid!, had, indeed, been valid, quite valid, valid the whole time, just case-sensitive. Can you believe I never tried it with an uppercase initial letter? That’s a no-brainer. But never did. Never tried. Assumed my intel was faulty or my computer impaired. (To be technical, the intel was a smidgen faulty since it hadn’t been texted to me in its case-sensitive glory, nor scrawled on the refrigerator whiteboard as such, but still… And my computer sometimes does hate a local network, but still… Still.) Aren’t you just boonswoggled by the metaphorical weight of this? Assumed the worst. Ignored innovation. Smugly suffered. Doesn’t that sound like most Greek tragedies, and everybody’s foreign policy?

Now, “the glass is half-full” rejoinder would be: But I’ve woken up! I’m out-of-the-box-thinking, humility-remembering, lesson-learning-for-next-timing! And I’ve got another day and a half to enjoy super smooth Internet stylings!

True. Good. Excessively beating your breast is just as self-absorbed as assuming everyone else is wrong but you. (Not that self-indulgence is so alien around these parts. I offer the name of my domain as Exhibit A, the fact of this blog’s existence as Exhibit B…) Hopefully, in my re-engagement with the world around me, I operate a bit wiser, negotiate a trifle better, enriched for having gone on this journey. I think such a thing possible. I might sense a little more perspective… We’re all just people trying our best. Just people. Love us before it’s too late. (That’s the truth Mom and I independently discovered and exchanged two days ago. “Make sure to enjoy your life” is the nugget my dad shared tonight.)

I recently welcomed a friend to the prologue of the next chapter. But it wasn’t just his** and mine — it’s mine and mine. Mine and all of ours. This is a post-quals world, right? Post-May. Pre-summer. Pleine d’opportunite, as they’d say in French. Six em!, as we’d cry to the Pop-o-Matic bubble…

Onward.

*from a distance: Mom, Jim, Rebecca, and Mark; in the flesh: Geetha, Jinah, Jenn
**he, who is just a person, a person trying his best, like the rest of us